The day no Bishie fans would die!
by Nayru Toast
Summary: Weee,from out of my demented head, comes chaos! read and be amazed how stupid some of the KH characters can be! come,join in the chaos!
1. Wee look, the first chapter!

The day no bishie fans would die  
  
Oh god..watch this be a very disturbing fic..it starts with me..then goes onto the game..and so firth. Yes I know I haven't finished my other KH fic, but I wanted to write this one ;_; Ah well here we go!  
  
Chapter one: ..What the &^@# is up with that keyblade?  
  
  
  
Nayru T: (playing the KH game, starting to get the stuffing knocked out of Sora in traverse town.) WEee! I'm winning!  
  
Sechs: (sitting there in all her chibi glory, eating popcorn) No your not, your loosing.  
  
NT: I am?  
  
Sechs: Yep  
  
NT: Oh.no wonder I just fell down.look! A movie!  
  
Sechs.: ( twitching) Screw the movies! Get to the %$#@ action parts! Blood baby!  
  
Later that day!  
  
NT's mom: Boo boo! *Nayru's nickname from her mom -_-* Would you keep it down! I'm trying to watch the lifetime channel!  
  
NT: (yelling at the fat ass bitch known as Ursula) Sorry mom!  
  
Sechs: Hold on..how the hell did you get that far in the game?  
  
NT: uh...luck?  
  
Sechs: That's gotta be it.  
  
NT: Ya know! I got an idea for a fic! I'll call it . The day no Bishie fans would die!  
  
Sechs: (drinking soda) That's a lie.in every weird fic, a fan girl/boy's gonna die anyway.  
  
Nt: (runs over to her computer)  
  
Somewhere, on Destiny Islands!  
  
Riku: (Shudders) I just had a really bad thought.  
  
Both Sora and Riku are both walking on the so called Destiny islands,Sora looks to Riku confused.  
  
Sora: What? A crab with a Jammacian like accent jumping in those funky pants you wear and starts to sing a song dealing with a mermaid who wants to go up on land, but can't since she has to live in water and she's a princess so her father doesn't want her going up there anyway because he hates humans and would probably have a big fit like a monkey on speed pills with a herny?  
  
Riku just stared at Sora. Sora was known to be the stupid hero with no sence of vocabulary, and would have a short memory span. Riku just stared.  
  
Sora: ..HEY! look, it's your dad!  
  
Sora then pointed to the almighty, masamune carrying, all cool dude, bad ass guy known as.  
  
Sephiroth~!  
  
Sephiroth: Son, what the hell are you doing? Your supposed to be helping me get your mother to stop watching that damned soap opra.  
  
And wouldn't you know it, Riku's mommy is...  
  
Tifa! (Yep.I know some of you are gonna hate me.but I like the coupling, so in your face!)  
  
Riku then followed his dad while Sora went and started poking a worm. Jeez, Sora.why the hell are you so dence?  
  
LaTEr that Day!!!!  
  
We find Riku on his bed, reading porn as his father had suggested him too. And under his bed was his mother's brother, Ansem!  
  
Ansem: Yes! Open your heart to the Darkness! Hahahaha,I will soon rule over this miserable planet....  
  
Riku: (kicking Ansem in the head.) Keep it down! I'm reading this.  
  
Ansem, like the poor baby that he is, started sniffling and hide under the bed, afraid to come out because of the god forsaken lights!  
  
And somewhere.in the darkest and deepest castle thing..was someone sitting.all weird and gay an evil like...  
  
Weird ass dude: Ahaha.soon..they will all pay..for not putting me in the game! AHaAAahahah- OW! Son of a bitch!  
  
The dude then started wailing since he accidently hit his hand on his chair.  
  
****~~~  
  
NT: WEEEee wasn't that fun!?!?! Well tune in next time for.  
  
Why was the first chapter named that?  
  
Or!  
  
The time when Riku forgot to wear pants!  
  
Sechs: It's unquestionably stupid. 


	2. The day Riku forgot to wear pants!

Weee new chapter! Let's all get ready for some more eerie randomness! Maybe a plot might come into this weird story! WoW! Hot damn!  
  
Chapter two:  
  
The day Riku forgot to wear pants!  
  
  
  
Our scene starts out with Riku sleeping on his bed, and Ansem snoring from under it.  
  
Riku: (yawns) Eh.(see's a tourist try to take his pants) Hey!  
  
Riku then throws a big stone on the tourist, instantly killing him.  
  
Riku: Stupid tourists.-_-  
  
Tifa: RIKU! Breakfest is ready!  
  
Riku: Coming mom!  
  
Well, it looks like everything was going smooth on the Destiny Islands..The tourists coming and trying to steal our favorite characters stuff..Sephiroth slicing them all up with his sword.Sora wacking coconuts out of the trees..getting hit by one.and going unconscious..and Kairi trying to get Sora to sleep with her. Yep, all is well.  
  
But.while Sora is dreaming.he hears voices.  
  
/key blade holder./  
  
Sora: .o_O;?  
  
/Damnit, just listen,ok?/  
  
Sora: ...If it gets me away from Kairi...kay.  
  
/Now.the door is still shut./  
  
Sora: Of course it is, I shut the bathroom door after I went..  
  
/UGH YOU FUCKING DUMB ASS! I DON'T MEAN THAT DOOR! I MEAN THE DOOR TO THE FUCKING LIGHT!/  
  
Sora: ;_; You don't have to yell..  
  
/NOW, GET READY FOR THE FUCKING WORST! A BAD ENEMY IS COMING TO FUCKIN' KILL YOU! Good day./  
  
Sora then wakes up!  
  
Sora: @_#; Jeez..I got a headache now...  
  
Kairi: HEE! Hey there Sexy!  
  
Sora: -_- Oh god...  
  
Just then, Riku comes to the rescue and kicks Kairi into the secret spot, locking her in there with...WAKKA! AhAAahahah!!!!  
  
Riku: (helping Sora up) You ok, Sora?  
  
Sora, being the complete dolt he is, just hugs Riku  
  
Riku: Thanks Riku! You're the best!  
  
Poor poor mis guided Riku. He just went wide eyed at his friend's antics..it got him thinking..  
  
Does Sora have hidden feelings for him?  
  
Does he harbor feelings for Sora?  
  
And most of all...  
  
Is Kairi a slut?  
  
All these thoughts..Riku didn't see Kairi looking at the two boys. She looked pretty pissed, and with that, she stormed off, trying to keep her hormones down. Looks like she got out of the secret spot, eh?  
  
Sora: Hey, Riku! Your not wearing any pants!  
  
Riku looked down at his boxers, covered in little care bears.  
  
Riku: I thought it felt kind of drafty..  
  
**~~~  
  
NT: O_o; Okay.weird chapter..ah well, stay tuned next time for-!  
  
Kairi throws a bitchy fit!  
  
Or!  
  
Yuffie has a kid? Go figure!  
  
Sechs: It's unquestionably idiotic. 


	3. Kairi and her fit! YaY!

Hello all! I'm going to Disney world! Yes Disney world!!!!! I'm taking Sechs too, but she can be kind of a bitch when it comes to people in cartoon costumes. _ Just ask Chuckie Cheese...any way! Here's chapter three!  
  
  
  
Kairi throws a bitchy fit!  
  
  
  
Our scene starts out with Nayru (the authoress) and Sechs (her chibi side kick) walking along the destiny island beach.  
  
Sechs: NT..Why the hell did you put us in this stoned up fic of yours?  
  
NT: ...I dunno. I thought it might be fun.  
  
Sechs.: Ah.  
  
THEN suddenly, a gummi ship starts crashing down.  
  
Sechs: O_o AW ShIet!  
  
NT: (freaks) I didn't put that in this!!!!  
  
NT and Secsh both jump out of the gummi ship's way...matrix style! After the gummi ship crashes, Donald and Goofy jumped out, all stoned.  
  
Goofy: Garwsh.I don't think you should have smoked that stuff..  
  
Donald: F*** you Goofy.  
  
Goofy: No thank you.  
  
NT and Sechs start to wonder!  
  
NT: I don't get it.I'm in the fic.  
  
Sechs: ..But who's writing it now?  
  
And wouldn't you know it, the writer was...  
  
David Bowie!  
  
NT: AHHHH!!!!  
  
Sechs: AHHHH!!!!  
  
Goofy: AHHH!!!!!!  
  
Donald: SHUT UP!  
  
Then, all went silent  
  
Goofy: Duh, so yer tha authoress?  
  
NT: Yep.  
  
Donald: Kick ass.  
  
Meanwhile!!!!  
  
Evil dude from chapter one: Ahaaahaha...now, my loyal servants, Are you reading to beat the stuffing out of the characters?  
  
Back street boys: Yes, Master...(start doing a little jig)  
  
E.D.F.C.O : O_O My eyes!!! They burn!!!  
  
MEANWHILE!!!  
  
Kairi: Ooooh, That isn't fair! That damned Riku! I wanted to get laid!!!!  
  
Riku and Sora over hear Kairi's bitching..and start wondering.  
  
Sora: Hey, Riku...what does 'laid' mean?  
  
Riku: Uh....I'll tell you when your older.  
  
Sora: (whining) But I wanna know nooowww!!!!  
  
Riku: -_-  
  
  
  
***~  
  
YaY chapter done! Stay tuned next time for...  
  
Sechs finds her long lost sock!  
  
Or..  
  
Goofy isn't really that stupid after all!  
  
Sechs: It's unquestionably a waste of time. 


	4. Sechs finds her lost sock!

YAY! We're back from walt Disney world! W00t!...anyway let's get goin'  
  
  
  
Sechs finds her lost sock!  
  
We see Sora and Riku throwing rocks into the ocean.  
  
Riku: Hey, Sora. How come you never go to see Donald or Goofy anymore?  
  
Sora: Well, last time I went to Disney Kingdom, Donald was drunk and Goofy kept saying he wanted Minnie's baby..  
  
Riku: O_o  
  
Uh..ok. Let's see how the authoress is doing.  
  
NT: (dancing with Goofy to Livin' the vita loca) w00t!  
  
Goofy: Hyuk!  
  
Donald: %$@*&!  
  
Sechs: (finds her sock in Goofy's shoe.) My Sock!  
  
...What the shit? ..Let's see what else is going on..with that dude..who..is annoying...yea.  
  
E.D.F.C.O: Hrm....The BSB should be on Destiny Islands by now...  
  
Menawhile...o_O  
  
Riku and Sora are found once again, walking along the beach, when suddenly...  
  
BSB: (pop out of the sand) WE KILL!!!!  
  
Riku & Sora: HOLY SHIT ON A STICK!  
  
Random juice box: BRO AR!  
  
Thus, the fearless battle against the Backstreet boys and Riku and Sora begins!  
  
Riku: (thwaping one of tha bSb with a stick) Huzzah!  
  
BsB: Oh no! they are too powerful! RUN!  
  
And so..the Back street boys ran away like ninnies.  
  
Sora&Riku: COOL~  
  
Random Juice box: BRO-AR!  
  
..Yea. Let's see what...uh...The princess of heart are doing.  
  
Belle: No way! He can't be alive!  
  
Jasmine: He is, I saw him!  
  
Aurora: Wow.  
  
Alice: We gotta tell that hero dude!  
  
Cinderella: Yea!  
  
Random Juice box:...It burns when I pee.  
  
__~~~!@@@  
  
YAY I'm done! Comment! Review! Flame!  
  
Stay tuned next time for.  
  
The evil dude's big entrance!  
  
Or....  
  
Wow, Sora has grandma underwear!  
  
Sechs: It's unquestionably usless for your mind! 


	5. wow,unnamed! seph knows where you live!

WOOO..another chapter! Cool! Oooo.you must all read the fic 'Light & Dark' in the Misc. Cross over section. READ IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *cough* Go on, read!  
  
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!!!! .yea. I own myself..and Sechs. Yep. Here we go!  
  
  
  
NT: ...(sitting there,thinking) hm..  
  
Sechs: Uh...what're you doing?  
  
NT: Thinking.  
  
Goofy: (eating dirt) Hyuk!  
  
Donald: (Walking like he's got a stick up his ass) Blah blah!  
  
Meanwhile!  
  
Sora: (poking the worm in chapter one) I should name you Skippy!  
  
Riku: ..Sora,you're a moron.  
  
Meanwhile..!  
  
Evil dude: HRm...that didn't go too well.....uhm..hm.  
  
..MEANWHILE!!!  
  
In Traverse town!  
  
Cid: I can't believe that dude sent the Back street boys after Sora!  
  
Squall: Yea,that's not right.  
  
Aerith: Uh...what now?  
  
..  
  
Sephiroth: I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
Ok..that was short,of course,I'm completely drained of my inspirational brain. It's gone off and got ran over by a car. Oh well. Anyway,tune in next time!  
  
Sechs: It's such fun.oh yes, such fun. 


	6. d00d,mad l33t skills!

WOAH. Ok..my inspiration kind of came back. YEAaa..  
  
  
  
Chapter 6: Why do you mock me Taco!?  
  
Random juice box: .....  
  
Taco: .........  
  
Random Juice box: ...............  
  
Taco: ...................................  
  
Random Juice box: ...I hate you.  
  
Taco: Chalupa!!!!!  
  
O_o; Uh.alrighty. Let's go see what Sora and Riku are up to..  
  
Sora: Please tell me Riku!!!  
  
Riku: -_- No.  
  
Sora: please?!!?!?  
  
Riku: ...fine.  
  
Sora: (sits, listening)  
  
Riku: Ok..getting 'laid' means that.well..people do 'it'.  
  
Sora: o.o? What's 'it'?  
  
Riku: Uh...you know..make love?  
  
Sora: O_O; They make little heart shaped paper cut outs?  
  
Riku: -_-...  
  
....meanwhile!  
  
NT: So..what're we gonna do now?  
  
Sechs: Crawl in a hole and die?  
  
Goofy: Gawrsh, we were gonna go see Sora!  
  
NT: OOOoo! I wanna come!  
  
Donald: FINE, just don't mess with my /\/\aD l33t 5ki11z!  
  
Sechs: Your skillz suck ass.  
  
***~~~  
  
BOY, wasn't that fun kiddies?! YAY  
  
Thank you for all of you who have reviewed me. :D I lurv you.  
  
Anyway,stay tuned for the next chapter! 


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